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DEAR READERSHIP: I know for a fact your lives are not perfect*. Write…

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DEAR READERSHIP: I know for a fact your lives are not perfect*. Write in some &^%@ing questions so I can tell you what the @#$% to do.
Yours, Rita Skeeter

*If your life is indeed perfect, let me know so that appropriate steps can be taken to make you miserable normal, like the rest of us.

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On February 21st, 2007 03:56 pm (UTC), (Anonymous) commented:
Dear Rita Skeeter,

Is there any good reason for not ridding the world of muggles and mudbloods? I've devised a wonderful spell to cause many catastrophic earthquakes, and would like to put it to good use.

Thanks,
Pureblood Wizard
[User Picture]
On February 21st, 2007 04:06 pm (UTC), dearritaskeeter replied:
DEAR PLASTIC "PUREBLOOD" PLEB: You're quite obviously a halfblood wizard (probably with a pint-sized pecker) who's attempting to compensate for your great-great-great-great-great grandmother being a Muggle. Your identity issues run deeper than a Slytherin bloodline. Put down the wand and pick up a pint at the Hog's Head. If you're lucky, a strikingly pretty hag will deign to do the deed with you; whatever offspring would result from such a union will certainly make you feel better about your own heritage.
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On February 21st, 2007 04:35 pm (UTC), (Anonymous) commented:
Dear Rita Skeeter,

I am in love with a wizard in my office, but I'm certain he doesn't even know that I exist. What do you recommend I do to get his attention? Slip a love potion in his afternoon tea? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Hopelessly in Love
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